NOTE: something i do not want to forget

Kunga - place of momo and thukpa insanity

something i've already forgotten: that song that we listened to on repeat for about an hour total to/from Ravangla monastery #1

All of my finals are over, I'm leaving for Kolkata, Darjeeling and Sikkim tomorrow, and I am freaking out a little in my head as is common in instances like this. I want to do so much, but I do not under any circumstances want to walk for more than 30 minutes. So basically fuck all that stuff I wanted to do. It's all shopping requests from Mary and Tom anyway, and I can squeeze some of it into the last two days I have in Hyderabad before my flight back to the US, and some of it into the trip this week. Darjeeling is not ready for my consumerist typhoon.

It's been a really long time, although I've been filling in my solid-state journal with some trip reminiscences. Three things though,

1) should Zamir ever become de facto ruler of Kashmir, or the dissolute son of said ruler, I will have known him.. way back when he was doing his M. Phil. on the Kashmiri film industry and its historical grounding (or whatever, Bollywood is involved somehow).

2) at some point in the last week, I experienced a kind of horrible epiphany and now feel like I have been mentally scarred. As though I've seen the slow starvation of a village, I guess would be an apt analog

3) I sure hope that I gain lasting friendships from this

Goan 2 Goa

The title's a little misleading, since I already went. BUUTTTT it was pretty fantastic, with a turn for the weird at the end--thus the ending. Everyone else who was supposed to leave with me decided to stay an extra day, and not travel on Holi. What a strange idea!

Anyway, bus left Thursday at around 5:30 (Benny, Ali, Zamir ended up being on the same bus, though way at the front while I was in the middle-back) and arrived in Panjim at around 7? possibly also around 9. I don't really remember. The bus ride over was significantly less odd, probably due to a combination of factors (stewing in my own uterine discharge, fresh sunburn, being alone, no movies!!! (SEVERE Shahrukh Khan shortage.. also whichever Khan is in Veer), taking psychologically-weirdening malaria pills a few hours into it, eating nothing but hide-n-seek, possibly others), but overall both were enjoyable. For the first half hour or so I didn't know if I would be alone or not, found I didn't really care either way, and stared at the sunset and apartment buildings, wondering what Mary will/does think of that type of construction. I love the exterior stairways, cut-out balcony walls and skewed rectangles, and it looks way better than the normative cinderblock apartment buildings in the US and Germany. There's an element of childishness to it, though, with the bold colors and thick layers of concrete. Modern Scandinavian and most Bauhaus-derived buildings have similar features, but use them more delicately (or precisely), and hardly anything else correlates. But I was excited, thinking about my first foray as an Independent Woman (not really) because I just felt so goddamned self-reliant, going all that way alone. When Benny, Zamir, and Ali showed up I was disappointed. The ride over was unremarkable, although my neighbor, a middle-aged guy who was also going to Palolem, was nice enough. We saw him on the bus down the coast later on, which was one sign we were on the right track (others: the sign on the front of the bus, the sign hanging over the bus, the sign on the side of the bus).

Actually, the bus ride over was good. The food at the dhaba was pretty good, the tea in the morning was scalding but delicious, and watching the sun set in Hyderabad and rise in Goa was fairly spectacular. During both bus rides I couldn't stay asleep during the mountain passage, so it was a terrifying series of jerky turns into twilit nothingness. Slightly worse the second time around, when I was in the front and could actually see the bus veering away from the chasms. India definitely reinforces my fear of falling everywhere.

Goa itself was meant to be a kind of spring break, my first, and I guess it succeeded at that. I didn't hang out with everyone at the bar every night, just two, and I didn't get drunk every night, just one. (General consensus was that I was not drunk. I woke up at 9am the next day, still drunk and hallucinating. Never hungover. I just didn't feel like acting all that drunk, as is almost always the case.) But I met some non-creepy, suitably low-key people who decided to build the most pathetic bonfire on the beach (a single twig) far enough away from The Dude Who Was On Ketamine and The Overly Tan Middle-Aged British Guys. Then people started playing guitar and asking to take pictures with the American girl who isn't fat or stupid. Thank you, German Pole Who Isn't A Footballer, A Pope, A Nazi, Or Angela Merkel. I enjoyed talking to a lot of people, though, and it was a good chill-out weekend. Maybe the best, without any sight-seeing obligations. The beach was, as probably mentioned before, amazing and soft and silvery, and the water was clear and lukewarm, with waves just right for jumping. Basically an idyll.

copy/pasted What I Did On My Weekend

more in-depth description to follow?

also, there is a job site commercial here that has what sounds like the pepto bismol jingle if it were frightening, and it doesn't make much sense. the caves were very cool and i have gained leg muscle. the train was also fine although non-indians in sleeper class is such an oddity that we gained a crowd in whatever compartment we sat in. and having an unconfirmed ticket just means that you might not have a seat, but most people will be very pushy and also take advantage of confusion? perhaps. and the hotel was good, much nicer than i expected for $12 a night for three people. they also made good eggs. kind of got ripped off on transportation though, because for some reason we did not haggle. renting a car for the day was 1500Rs ($30) on the first day and 900Rs ($18) on the second. still the best way to get around, and they took us to fairly nice places, like weaving schools and bidri makers, at which to spend money on traditional aurangabadi things. oh, went to the mini-taj mahal in town and had my sneakers stolen, so now i have some new flip-flops. apparently there was a sign that said "at own risk" but i did not see it. not too big a deal. there's a cobbler on campus that i've been meaning to visit, he makes very nice sandals for $4 (and i think dress shoes for $6-8).

I just remembered which part was cut out of the Indian version of Slumdog Millionaire (if there is only one). We watched it on a bus ride and I groaned a little internally because I don't like it that much, I've seen it way too many times, etc., but then it started in the middle of the movie and kept jumping around after the next scene had already started, which kept me on literal, tangible, very real tenterhooks. So tentative hypothesis: it's the same exact movie, with the same chapters, but they eliminated the one where they steal shoes outside the Taj and basically everything from that car, and the police start beating him, and the nice American lady shows him real American hospitality. Actually, I'm pretty sure they also removed the short torture sequence from the beginning. And then, since they had cut out the whole starting sequence to the movie, I guess they just pieced the rest of it together in a way that makes no sense, so it's hard to pinpoint any specific thing that's missing. The movie actually ends about forty minutes before it's over, and then it shows earlier questions and other stuff no one actually cares about, although the ending is obvious, because it's totally predestined.

Either that or Madhuri just has the weirdest fucking version of Slumdog Millionaire. Maybe equally likely.

I should really start a traditional journal since there's a lot to remember over the course of a week, but that probably won't happen. I just feel a little silly with a solid-state record, writing away in plain view of anyone who happens by. I am full of secrets.

So Sunday I arrived, went on a walking tour, began hurting my feet, couldn't really think, etc. It kind of sucked a lot. I also kept retching just in the middle of doing other things, like eating yogurt. Monday was a little better, but still mostly just a yogurt/roti/rice kind of day food-wise. Borrowed some shoes so that I could walk, and that basically made the whole day way better. CIEE stuff, whatever--Tuesday and Wednesday were kind of the same. On Wednesday (I think?) some people discovered how to take hot showers (very complicated, hot water knob + heater knob + time), so I haven't taken a cold one since.

We got some kurtas and salwars and scarves last week, too, and I bought a skirt at the Shilparamam fair/bazaar/craft show/whatever that I actually super enjoy the sight of. I am on my way to becoming a fashion plate. This is totally false, but what if it weren't?.. think about it.. also went to the mall a couple days ago with Ming, to get some flip-flops, and that was an interesting Western experience. Played some Bourne game which kind of sucked, mostly because of the camera, and we all kind of sucked at it too.

Re: toilets. Have only used Asian toilet once, and I brought toilet paper. Wasn't that bad except I can't picture doing it without taking off my pants. Toilet paper is also not guaranteed by any means, but my nose has also been a little overactive so carrying around a roll of toilet paper everywhere I go doesn't seem that weird. Just rip off a piece in the middle of class and evacuate my nasal cavity, not even a problem. Anyway, toilet paper is way better than the usual way, which is the spigot/small bucket? combo, with finger accompaniment. Don't really want to do that more than once. And the general toilet form + prevalence of diarrhea just seems like bad news.

The only reason I wanted to update this was to say that I had a super delicious dessert last night. The desserts at lunch are pretty hit/miss, because it's usually a marginally dense doughnut soaked in syrup, or a weird kind of sweetened puffed vegetable ball (this is what it looked like, I have no idea what it was--kind of like a Froot Loops ball if you looked at it closely, but the flavor was basically just sugar + a little nutty), and it's just too sweet for the rest of the meal. Lunch always has some kind of fruit, though, usually guava or papaya, and both of those are pretty much delicious.

HOWEVER the dinner desserts are fantastic. It's usually just ice cream, but the flavors are usually butterscotch (this tastes like something else, I can't think of the exact thing though--every time I start getting there the scotch stands out), tutti-frutti, or vanilla. Once they served vanilla over this spiced carrot slaw stuff and it was kind of like a carrot cake. Last night, though, there was this weird warm pudding-like dish that tasted kind of coconutty (and looked kind of like a steamed coconut pudding with nuts) and was basically all sorts of tasty. I looked up Indian desserts today and the thing it most resembles is chana dal payasam, so it might be that. The recipe varies a lot and seems to be more the form than the ingredients, but it was pretty fly for a greyish soupy thing.

Oh. There are steamed corn vendors pretty much everywhere. Hot buttery steamed corn, fresh in cup!! It comes in a lot of flavors, and Masala's apparently pretty good. Ming and I shared a tiny cup at the mall, mostly to try, in flavor: Chinese. It tasted like corn, plus lemon juice and Spice. We also went to McDonald's, mostly because it's McDonald's, and the menu looks a lot more appetizing here. The Chicken Maharaja Mac is pretty good (the sauce is the only interesting part, otherwise it's a chicken patty with cheese), but the Veggie Pizza McPuff is a little vomitorious. Totino's are better. I don't know why it seemed so bad, I think a lot of it was the acidity of the sauce, but yeah it was a little like bile. You can get Shake Shake Fries (possibly not TM), which are fries + paper bag + spice packet, and those are pretty good; the fries are the same. That's all I tried. Oh, and ketchup here is very different, but it's hard to say how. Sweeter but with more vinegar? Spice? Who can say... truly.